i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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