Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
