yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
