Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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