HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
