I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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