it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
