can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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