So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
