I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize