I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
