I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
