I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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