you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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