I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
