so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
