it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
