Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
