No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize