just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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