You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
