So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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