if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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