They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize