I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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