Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
