I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
