I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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