i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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