oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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