You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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