So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
