You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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