super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
