i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
