Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Me too!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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