Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she looked like the before picture.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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