I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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