you traded sex for a burrito?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
