In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm both gender and math confused
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
