I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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