Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
