Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
