; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
