sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
