He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
