I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
zippers are such a cool invention
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
