Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
