how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
