I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
