He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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