I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
