Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
