There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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