Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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