And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
